Being the Beloved - A Monthly Blog from CFDM Northwest
By Rev. Stan Jacobson, CFDM Board
"This month features a reflection on growing older. During recent months we have all been asked to let go of things that may have shaped our identity, whatever our age."
As part of my early morning quiet time, I have been writing out some of my prayers. I would like to share with all of you one of my recent, written prayers with which some of you might resonate in different ways.
What does it mean, Oh Lord, that I am getting older?
Physically there are changes that I have experienced:
Less physical strength and endurance;
Cataracts and poorer eyesight;
Added weight;
More aches and pains;
No longer able to hike the mountains carrying a thirty or forty pound backpack.
Then there are mental issues:
Memory that is not as reliable;
Thinking that is not as clear and dependable.
God of mercy, as I have gotten older, I have also experienced the death of loved ones and have a deeper experience of grief.
And then, Oh God of purpose, getting older has meant retirement.
The word that had defined my life for many decades—pastor—
No longer delineates my life;
The word that had identified my life in the church
No longer grants me a role or responsibility or privilege.
What does it mean, Oh Lord, that I am getting older?
Faithful God, it seems as if I have less zeal, less passion for ministry, for service;
I have less dreams of what might be;
And definitely I think I know less, am sure of less than I did in my younger years.
Yes, gracious Jesus, there is a diminishing of some aspects of my life,
Loss, a dying.
What does it mean, Oh Lord Jesus, that I am getting older?
As I get older and there is the sense of loss, of dying of some aspects of my life, you also seem to be bringing about in me a resurrection, new life;
There is the new life of a growing understanding of myself,
As both sinner and as saint;
The new life of a greater degree of contentment and
Less of a desire of greatness and accomplishment.
What does it mean, O Eternal One, that I am getting older?
It has meant the non-fulfillment of some of my dreams, but the
Development of new and unexpected opportunities;
It has meant the loss and grief of the death from cancer of my spouse
Of over forty years, but after a number of years experiencing
The unexpected chance of second-love.
What does it mean, O Silent God, that I am getting older?
Above all else, there is a greater desire for silence,
For simply being with you in all my imperfection and all the
Experiences of life.
What books, media, activities are nurturing your heart, soul, mind, strength in this season as we are loving God and our neighbor as ourselves? Post in the comments below or hop on over to our Facebook page and share with one another.