Being the Beloved - A Monthly Blog from CFDM Northwest
By Katrina Obata, Associate Director of Spiritual Direction, CFDM
Note: CFDM holds 30 minutes of centering prayer every Wednesday morning at 7 am Pacific Time via Zoom. It is an open invitation for you and for anyone you would like to invite to join you. If you are interested to learn more or have a question please email us at info@cfdmnorthwest.org. We look forward to this time of attending to God’s loving presence together. Hope to see you!
Recently, while practicing Centering Prayer, one of the thoughts that keeps surfacing is, “I feel like one of the 10 virgins sitting and waiting on the bridegroom.” Then I say my sacred word to release that thought, reaffirming my consent to God’s presence and action, and continue to sit.
I haven’t thought about that parable in a long time; it’s a parable I’ve had to hold openly because of my many questions about it. I’ve always found it interesting that when asked to share their oil, the wise virgins said “no, there may not be enough for both us and you. Instead, go to those who sell oil and buy some for yourselves.”
No? Not enough? Go buy your own oil? What about sharing and giving to those in need? Why couldn’t those without the oil just walk along beside those who had it; wouldn’t the lamp provide enough light for both to walk?
I know I need strength, fuel, oil, to wait on the Lord – and to move forward and take action when He shows up. I can encourage others to wait, or to move and take action, but I can’t do it for them . . . they need their own oil.
Time and energy are precious, limited entities so it’s important to use them wisely, focusing on what’s truly important. I find when I’m able to spend time with God, fear and worries yield to an increase in trust. Time spent with God also helps me discern what is important and what is not.
Trust sometimes comes at great expense to my ego, and even my sense of reason. Trust is given where faith and surrender meet. I can tell others that I trust God, but I can’t give that trust away. For trust to strengthen us, it needs to be our own.
Over the summer I began a yard project that I had wanted to do for some time. The first step was to weed a very over-grown area. It was a joy for me, the weather was wonderful, my dog was by my side, and my husband and son were in the yard doing other projects. Although it took hours, it was a pleasure to do. Then we all went inside for a late lunch. My husband and son were done for the day, but I told them, “I’m not done. I have to go back outside and finish,” to which my husband replied, “You don’t HAVE to go back out.”
His words made me pause. He was right. I didn’t HAVE to go out. The project could wait . . . but, part of me was unhappy at the thought of stopping. It urged me to continue - and made several good points! It was appealing to my sense of reason. However, I was tired, and I began to think about how nice it would be to spend time outside on the deck just reading instead. That sounded so luxurious, so life giving, so restful.
It might sound like an obvious choice, but at the time it wasn’t. The “get it done” part of me was convincing, loud, persistent, and scoffing at my desire to rest. I wanted the satisfaction of seeing this project completed; I had already waited a long time. Doing yard projects gives me a lot of joy, but I was not feeling any joy about going back out there to finish (my oil had run out).
The 10 virgins were all doing what they were supposed to do - go out and wait for the bridegroom. Jesus said, “The wise ones, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps.” This makes me want to ask myself, when I’m going about my life’s activities, am I bringing oil with me? Do I have enough oil, or am I running low? Am I making a choice out of freedom, or because I think I HAVE to? What fills my jar, what strengthens and restores me?
I know there will be more battles with the “get it done” part of me in the future. It’s just part of how I’m made, and it’s a good part - most of the time. My hope is that I will be able to discern at those times what’s truly important, and that I will live into the freedom that Christ offers me to follow Him and not follow my striving, insistent self. I want to follow Life, follow Joy, and live with an abundance of oil – to live life to the full!
Parable of the 10 Virgins is found in Matthew 25: 1-13
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10
What books, media, activities are nurturing your heart, soul, mind, strength in this season as we are loving God and our neighbor as ourselves? Post in the comments below or hop on over to our Facebook page and share with one another.