Being the Beloved - A Monthly Blog from CFDM Northwest
By Tamarah Lee, Spiritual Director
My daughter said, “Acts 20 reads like a Thanksgiving meal conversation, where you rat out the embarrassing stories on the other family members.
Peter: Remember that time Paul preached so long young Euty fell out the window and DIED?!
Paul: Must we bring that up again?
Peter: Paul didn’t even notice until people started running down the stairs yelling. . .
Paul: Peter. . .
Peter: And then he marched outside and did the “Oh-look-he’s-not-dead-any-more-guys-Nothing-to-see-here” thing, and went back upstairs and KEPT PREACHING until the sun came up.
Luke: I’ve gotta put that one in the letter.
Paul: No, you really don’t.
Luke: Oh, yeah, that one’s going in. . .
Luke picked quite a few Paul stories that leave one with a raised eyebrow. When Jesus healed, the scripture almost always says, “Jesus, moved with compassion. . .” did the miraculous. With Paul, there are a couple times when the narrator voice could editorialize, “Paul, annoyed by humanity. . .” did the thing. He sometimes used the miraculous to fix an annoyance in the moment, not because he was “moved with compassion.”
A friend said to me, “Paul had to practice what he wasn’t perfect at,” and that stuck with me. Paul didn’t always get it right. And God met him in the imperfection.
“Practicing what you aren’t perfect at,” often feels like trying to “get better,” but that’s not it at all.
I wondered if this tendency of Paul to come across like his task mattered more than the people was Paul’s infamous “thorn in the flesh” that he begged God to remove. God’s reply wasn’t, “Oh I’m so glad you asked, let’s tidy that up.” God’s compassion said, “This is the space I meet you and speak softly to your deeper need.’” (2 Corinthians 12:7-10).
I don’t like staring my humanity in the eye. I’d like God to tidy up my humanity instead. While I am very glad my foibles aren’t written down for church history to dissect, I still wither up inside when my imperfection unceremoniously plops out, and I can’t tuck it tidily away.
This passage goes on to say that Paul sent his companions on ahead in a boat, and he walked to their next destination. I can’t help but wonder if Paul walked so he could reflect on the untidy parts of his life; this time it was when he couldn’t stop talking long enough to help a young man get home after dying and being brought back to life. I have to wonder if he needed to walk the roads to ponder with God how he had gotten lost in the importance of his own words.
I picture this being a walk where Love spoke to Paul’s short-comings. He needed to talk about his foibles with Someone who could reflect back unconditional love. Not blame. Love.
Maybe that’s why we tell stories around the holiday table: to let our humanity remind us perfection isn’t a requirement for family.
What books, media, activities are nurturing your heart, soul, mind, strength in this season as we are loving God and our neighbor as ourselves? Post in the comments below or hop on over to our Facebook page and share with one another.